18-month anniversary

Yesterday was our 18-month anniversary.

Wow, that's long!!

Things

Animals that she likes (according to preference):

1) Horse
2) Panda
3) Koala Bear
4) Dolphin
5) Rabbit
6) Penguin

Her favourite number:

3, 77

Her dream car registration number:

FS 77, WFS 77, BFS 77

My current feelings

When I don't see her for weeks, my love just fade away.

I'm making up much of what I'm feeling at the moment. I can continue to lie to her, but not myself.

When I don't do things her way, she always make me feel guilty.

I need my space, physically and mentally.

Questions remain

A number of questions remain in my head.

1) Am I going ahead with this relationship?

2) How do I handle all the doubts in my body? Do I just put them aside? Should I be bothered by them?

3) Am I ready to settle down? Can I be sure that I won't cheat on her in the future?

In good times...

Just enjoy them.

Break up averted

But I don't think I can screw up ever again!

She wants a break.

For one blatant lie.

She wants a break because I lied to her.

I don't have time for all this drama... I got to study for my exam!! argh!!!!

So, I'm just going to keep quiet, as long as possible.

I know that I still love her, but I hate this complicated relationship.